Frodo, Don't Wear The Ring
by cheeseandcrackersaregoodforyou
Summary: Attempted humour. Based on the song "Frodo" by Flight of the Concords. Not supposed to logical or have any meaning. Frodo is down about going to Mordor, so the Fellowship  plus Arwen  cheer him up with a song.


**Ahh, this is just a crazy fic I made up whilst watching the Flight of the Concords' great music video for the song "Frodo". It's a great song, and very funny. This is a creation based on the song. It is not meant to be logical in anyway, only to (try) to be funny. I hope you like it! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own the 'Lord of the Rings' characters, nor the song "Frodo". **

**Enjoy! **

"Come along, Frodo! We've got a surprise for you!" said Sam, as he pulled Frodo along.

"Where are we going? And who's what do you mean _we_?" exclaimed Frodo. Sam didn't answer, but instead kept pulling Frodo along. There were still in Rivendell, but were to leave the following morning. Frodo was very anxious about them leaving, and Sam hoped their surprise would help cheer him up. When they finally arrived in a secluded outdoor courtyard, Sam pulled Frodo to a stop. "What is it? Why are we stopping?" he asked but Sam just shushed him saying, "Quiet, Mr Frodo, you'll see in a moment. Suddenly, form out of the trees, came Merry and Pippin, both carrying guitars. They stood back to back and started playing, whilst singing, "Frodo don't wear the ring, I know it's very tempting. Yes, you will appear to disappear but the dark riders, they'll know you're there. Yes, lord Sauron has many spies." As they finished "Sauron has many spies", Gandalf, dressed as Saruman, came out from behind a tree and sang "many spies have many eyes."

Suddenly, they disappeared and Legolas and Gimli appeared. Legolas started singing in a throaty, harsh tone of voice, whilst Gimli played the electric guitar, "One ring to bind them, to find them, one ring to rule them all one ring to bind them, one to find them, one ring to rule them all! Yeah, little Frodo! You've got to rule them! Frodo, rule them with the ring! Come on, rule them with your ring, yeah!" Legolas sang into the microphone. It was all very loud and rough, quite unlike Legolas, however the loudness suited Gimli well.

After they had finished, the music turned softer and more folk like, much the same as the song Merry and Pipping had been singing before. Gandalf dressed as Saruman appeared once again and said "Lord Sauron has many spies, and beasts, and birds", whilst Arwen, who had suddenly appeared from somewhere said "If you want him, come and claim him!" much like she had when she was saving Frodo from the Ring Wraiths. When she said finished, Sam dressed surprisingly a lot like Frodo, came out from the trees and said in an innocent voice, holding a fake ring "Do they, Gandalf" to which Gandalf reappeared as himself and said, in an angry tone of voice, "I am not a conjurer of cheap tricks!" They both disappeared and Sam came back, dressed in his usual clothing, and said, "I can't carry the ring, but I can carry you, Mr Frodo." When he said this, Frodo smiled and thought about how loyal Sam was to him.

They all then disappeared, before Aragorn came into view for the first time, dressed in the same clothes he had on at the Council. He lifted his sword and said "You have my sword", like he had done at the Council. Next, Legolas appeared and said "And my bow", then Gimli, who said "And my axe." Once they had all said their vows, they vanished and Arwen was seen again, this time talking in Elvish, "Noro nim mish fir mar nim nor!"*

Sam reappeared and said "Mordor" in a hushed, scared tone, before quickly leaving. Aragorn came back into the picture and said "We'll never make it! There's thousands of them and only nine of us!" Sam came back into view as Frodo and groaned, "Oohh!" before leaving. Aragorn materialized and said, "We made it..." in a joyous tone. Next, Sam came into view, dressed once again as Frodo, and said in a happy voice, "Hurray! We made it!"

Aragorn left, but Sam stayed and was joined by Pippin dressed as Sam. Once together, they starting rapping,

"Yo Frodo, what you doin' wearing the ring?  
>All powerful jewellery, is that your new thing?<br>I know it's hard when you're little more than 3 foot 4  
>Your little ass so close to the floor.<br>Trying to lead the fellows to the gates of Mordor  
>The Fellowship!<br>(Yea the fellowship)  
>I don't rap about bitches and hos,<br>I rap about witches and trolls,  
>just passing on the words of the Elven king,<br>Wisdom to all  
>Frodo! Don't wear the ring!"<p>

Once, they had finished, they slowed down the music and it become more melodious as they sang, "Frodo don't wear the ring, the magical bling bling, you'll never be the Lord of the Rings..." disappearing.

A few seconds later, all of the Fellowship plus Arwen, reappeared as themselves and bowed. Frodo was clapping loudly, and had a large grin on his face. "That was great! Thanks so much. I feel much better about our mission because of that!" he said. "But how did you come up with it?"

The Fellowship (and Arwen) all shared a grin and answered as a group, "Flight of the Concords'" before breaking into laughter. Frodo frowned, puzzled, but soon he brushed it off and joined them in their celebrations.

***I'm not sure if this actually means anything in Elvish; it's just one of the lyrics. If you know, could you please tell me?**

**I hope you all enjoyed it and that it didn't offend anyone!**


End file.
